I can officially blog about it...

I got a new assignment yesterday at work. 

In addition to working on CES firesides, anything that has to do with Seminaries & Institutes, Central HR, and Church Schools (aka BYU, BYU-I, BYU-Hawaii)...

I get to work with Welfare, and the Office of the Presiding Bishopric...

and, oh yeah, the MoTab.

BOOYAH.

And lest you start to believe that I'm ridiculously cool or something... the only cool things are:

1. My name will be on the credits for the Music and the Spoken Word broadcast (I may have to tape one just to see it). But I don't get to go to the broadcasts. I just get to watch them after the fact.

2. I may, eventually, have an office. Yes. Complete with four walls, a ceiling, and a door. But that's only a maybe.

And... that's about it.

In other news...

I'm learning to take risks. Stick my neck out. Lay the cards on the table. Let my heart be broken because I've been spending too much time protecting it.

I read this quote a week ago:

Life responds when we risk.

Unfortunately, the footnote to that should be--the response is never what we think it should be. 

And that's where I'm at. My first week as a "former" RS president. 

Good thing there is always a bed to go back to sleep in, some hot chocolate to mix up (because snow is in the forecast again), and Chuck to watch.

If only my two papers for class would write themselves.

Turned Over And Maybe Upside Down

Well, it's official.

Yesterday I turned in my keys and my handbook. 

I'm no longer Relief Society president since there is no 47th ward.

First order of business:

Get sleep.

Finish my final project and paper for school.

Catch up on the TV shows I've missed for the past 7 months.

Cheers!

Story Time

I run over to the local cafe because the cafeteria has gotten old.
I stand in line, when one of the sandwich makers comes over. 

Sandwich Maker (known hereafter as SM): "You seem to be a regular these days..."
Me: "Yeah."
SM: "My name is Scott. But everyone calls me Phares" (as in Ferris Bueller)
Me: "Laurel"
SM: "So... you must work here."
Me: "I work in the Church Office Building. Can I get a ham on white with provolone?"
SM: "You always get the same thing, don't you?"
Me: "Yeah. I like to stick with what I know..."
(few minutes go by, SM needs to help other people while my sandwich goes through the toaster oven).
SM: "So, any veggies or dressing?"
Me: "Tomatoes, lettuce, and dijonaise, please. And can I get that to go?"
SM: "See...now I know what you'll get. So you just have to come in and say, 'Hi, Phares' and I'll get it for you, no problem."
Me: "Oh, good."

I take my sandwich, pay, and head out to the tables to bask in the sun. I open the sandwich and take a bite into glory, only to have my mouth hit with some spice.
Another bite tells me that he put on chipotle ranch instead of dijonaise.
I finished the sandwich much to my chagrin. Because dijonaise TOTALLY sounds like chipotle ranch.
I think I may have to stop going to that cafe for a month or so. Or at least start wearing a ring on my left hand. 

Big Girls Are Allowed To Cry...

All it took was a 15 minute phone call. 

I just wasn't prepared for it and in the processing of the situation, the tears just came out. Then it turn to sobs. 

It's not an emotional roller coaster that I'm on. It was more just an overwhelmed feeling of profound helplessness and a profound sense of my own ridiculousness. It built up.

Today, I'm still feeling rather helpless and ridiculous, but all I can do is leave it for Heavenly Father to take care of. Because He will. That fear of failure? Well, I know when it comes to His sons and daughters who are in need, He will take care of them. Even if I can't. Because I've learned that:

"My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds."

-Anne Murrow Lindbergh

But all I ask is for a bit of forgiveness for taking a moment to let some tears out in behalf of those girls. I just need a moment to do what I seem to do so well--mourn with those that mourn--before I can get back to my to-do list. The never ending list. The list that requires that I go out and buy a new planner today. 

Target trip, anyone?

Missed My Calling

I'm pretty sure that I should've been a car mechanic. 

You may laugh, but it's true. 

Maybe it's the fact that I was raised by a woman who believes you get out there and try everything you can before you pay money for someone to fix whatever is broken. 

One of my windshield wipers hasn't been working. A friend mentioned that a bolt might be loose. 

This morning was one of those awful mornings that are becoming more frequent often, where I could NOT get out of bed to exercise and therefore had a lot more time to get ready for work. So, I found myself outside 15 minutes earlier than normal. I figured I might as well put the wrench I got for my birthday to use. 

That's when the rain started.

And remember how I have to wear a skirt to work every day?

But the windshield wiper is working... for now...

Forget being a librarian or a writer or a mother or a wife... 

I should be a car mechanic.<sup>1

1</sup>But truth is, I would really rather have a guy come and fix it. Because I'm not strong enough to screw that bolt in tight enough. 

Mother Nature's Cruel Tricks...

A day of perfect weather. A day of considering whether to wear my flip flops instead of my sneakers. An afternoon of sitting on my front porch reading a book, basking in the sunshine.

It makes me start dream of this:

[source]

And then I wake up the next day to dreary weather again. 

I can't take the ups and downs. I need some good vitamin D. 

Welcome, Spring.

Just spent my lunch break eating on the plaza.

There were tulips.

And sunshine.

And Laurel may be just a wee bit twitter-patted (It's just a little crush. Nothing to get excited over).¹

But then again, Spring is back. Anything is possible. At least that's how I always feel...

¹I really should take my own advice. I've had a stupid grin on my face for the last 24 hours.

Keys to a happy Laurel

[source]

Please note the following equation:

Sleep (7-8 hours 2 nights in a row) + no drama + sunshine + exercise = happy Laurel

There is no solve for x. All are essential for a happy Laurel. 

And today, even if sunshine is not on the docket (but there is snow), I'm feeling pretty good about life. 

Especially when this basically describes my last night:

[source]

Happy Friday!

Set in Stone (or at least written in semi-permanent ink)

March was a long, cold month. 

Back before my mission I read President Gordon B. Hinckley's biography and a week or two before he became prophet, he wrote a journal entry that I don't have in my journal here, but has stuck with me (which is huge because I think it's been 7 years... so you know it must've struck a chord.)

But he said to the effect that March is a month of intermittent rain and sunshine that seems to reflect how life goes in March. Lots of ups and downs. 

I'm kind of glad to be out of March. And into April. 

I even started April Fools' day by getting my boss pretty good. 

Conference was excellent.

And now, I'm into the full swing of waiting for spring to come and then summer.

The date has been set for my release as RS president in the 47th ward. It's not a big secret. On May 1st, all of the YSA wards and stakes in the Salt Lake Valley will be reorganized. The 47th ward will no longer exist and therefore, I will be automatically released from my calling. I don't know if that means I will be called again or what the Lord has planned for me, but to be honest, I'll be a little relieved. I feel like I'm running on empty. I can barely wake up in the mornings to exercise (and so I've gained 6 pounds... UGH!!!). I have no energy to stay out past 10 PM, even on Friday or Saturday. And it will be nice to not be at the Institute for most of Sunday. But again, if the Lord needs me to be a RS president again, he'll figure out a way to help me. And I've been truly blessed in the last year and almost a half in this calling.

I'm just looking forward to rest and to take a moment to breathe. It feels like it's been years since I've been able to do that!