Somewhere in the classic, The Sound of Music (which hasn't been watched by me since a very entertaining moment on my mission when I yelled at Maria for forgetting her habit after the opening number and my mission president looked at me and said "you've seen this one too many times, Hermana Teuscher") Maria tells Liesl that she can't run away from her problems, you have to face them. And normally, I would agree with her...
But two weekends ago it got to be too much.
*I was tired of having responsibilities thrown at me at the last minute (did I mention that my calling has evolved from Communications Chair to Bishop's Personal Secretary? Cause it has. Really. He said so).
*I'm tired of only making it to Sacrament meeting because the next two point five hours are spent between the clerk's office and the bishop's office with at least five men watching me organize a board and wondering how in the world I do it (seriously, is it rocket science or something?).
*I was sick of being away from work. I'm valued, appreciated, and validated there. I don't get that from anywhere else except in my family and my friends I work with and my friends who are far away from me. I'm very heartsick for those friends and for my family.
*I've also come to the conclusion that I needed to cut some loose ends, meaning boys that I tried to cling onto as friends but I needed to accept the fact that they, like so many other boys, were good for when they were there, but they made no effort to stay. Why should I consistently make room in my life for them, reach out for them, make an effort to be their friend when they make no effort towards me? So I've cut the strings. And the freedom feels good, although I have missed them, they obviously do not miss me one bit since I haven't seen or heard from any of them in three weeks if not a month or more. (I stopped keeping track after the first week.)
I knew I needed to get away. I needed to be away. I thought about going home. San Diego always makes me feel better. Mom makes me feel better about stuff even if we don't talk about it extensively. But it's expensive and because I haven't received my tuition reimbursement yet, that money just isn't quite available at the moment.
My friend, Julie, invited me to go to Idaho with her to her friend, Kerri's cabin. I asked that we skip church on Sunday. She agreed. And thus began our adventure.
First stop was the Idaho Falls temple. Not on purpose. I forgot an extra set of underwear (I was packing the morning of and trying to pack light!) so we stopped at the store nearby and bought some and decided to take the photo op since it was available.
Julie in front of the temple, but still across the street.
The flowers were in bloom in Idaho.
Yes... those would be the falls... as in Idaho Falls.
As an extra tidbit. We did s'mores that night and I tried one with a reese's peanut butter cup (regular size) instead of a Hershey's bar. CHANGED MY LIFE. Do it. SERIOUSLY. You will NOT be disappointed.
Julie and I decided that we should probably go to church. We looked up a ward and the time, but discovered on Sunday that the time online was 30 minutes off. The speakers were boring and I was focused on the texts and emails that I had received while I was out of service.
After sacrament meeting, we packed up and Julie had the brilliant idea to take me to Yellowstone since I had never been. So off we went.
Old Faithful... and me. Cause I'm not old and probably not as reliable as that geyser.
The only animals we saw were bison. Don't get me wrong, they were cool, I was just hoping for a bear, or a moose, or a deer. But bison were big. That worked well enough for me.
So there it is. We got back Sunday night and Monday I was back at work and loving life again. And it's funny, I've never loved working so much. And it's paying off. I'm considering moving a cot into my cubicle and just being at work 24/7. I think something is very wrong with me. I wish I knew how to fix it.
Two weeks to family reunion. I hope I can make it.
4 comments:
Nothing wrong with you. You are lovely, talented, and funny. And, your writing is charming. Sounds like your ward is taking advantage of your willingness and skills a little too much. It was good for those guys to have a Laurel-free weekend. You might want to have a candid talk with your Bishop about needing your Sunday School time.
Wow. Laurel, I feel like we are in very similar spots right now. Not because our situations are the same. But because our frustrations are the same in that we are trying to fix things and it doesn't seem possible from our perspectives. Hopefully that makes sense. I've decided today to make 2 goals and stick to them for 2 weeks. At least 30 minutes of exercise and at least 30 minutes of scripture study EVERY day. I'll let you know how it goes. I love you!
You will have to report back to me, Laura. I'm trying to do the same thing every day. Exercise and scriptures.
This looks like a way fun trip. I love the Idaho Falls temple. And you're seriously loving work THAT much? That's pretty extreme. But I'm glad for you.
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