Balls Without Princes....

So, my sister-in-law told me the last time I got to attend a gala to take lots of pictures and enjoy it because it probably wouldn't ever happen again.

However, in the midst of some difficult times, I DID get invited to a gala. Ernst and Young's Utah's Entrepreneur of the Year Gala. However, this time I didn't have to worry about finding a date (good thing too... I'm still in a self-imposed vacation), but it was fun to go out on the town with friends. And this time I took a few more pictures (Emily--these are for you!):

 Me with Rachel and Heidi.

 Salad course....

 Drinks all around... er... I mean, pass the rolls?

 The girls on the town. Forgive the awkward angle. The girl taking the picture didn't seem to know how to work my camera. So it's Rachel, me, Mers, Bethany, and Heidi.

 Main course. Heaven. I love meat. I determined that I just can't ever consider marrying a vegetarian.

There were two dessert options. I got the bottom one.

So, I think at this point, I can safely say that I will probably never attend another gala. But who knows. Maybe I'll get lucky again. 

Words of Wisdom

Got Dove chocolates to have at my desk. I think I'm falling into some bad coping strategies (because let's be honest, chocolate always gives me the attention and love that I want and crave for when others don't have time for me).

The great thing about Dove is they have little messages in the wrappers. Here are the two that I got today:

I think it's a sign....

It's a tragedy when...

...I dread my weekends and prefer to be at work. 

What can I say? I work with awesome people who make me laugh all the time. They also think the world of me (I think I was told like four times this past week how awesome I am... Granted, I already knew this, but it's nice to have that validation sometimes.).  

But Friday afternoon comes and everyone heads home early and I start to get really sad and all I want is for it to be Monday again. I've stopped checking my phone and waiting for connections to be made to people outside of work except at lunchtime (because let's be honest... I hate checking my phone to see that no one has called or texted) and then I stay late at work just so I can spend more time with these people. Because they make me feel wanted and whole and they listen. 

I'm not sure whether to be grateful or be concerned.... Maybe a little of both?

Might Be Starting a Portfolio

Have I ever mention that it's my dream to be a writer?

It's actually on my bucket list to write a full novel one day. I've tried writing but I always seem to get sidetracked. I'm determined this summer to finish one that I started two years ago. 

[courtesy of The Working Writer's Life] 

But none the less, today marks the second time my name has appeared in print. Maybe I should try creative nonfiction rather than a novel? I might be better at that genre.

But really? I'm just thrilled that the magazines finally printed something of mine, with my name in print. I know how picky they can be about what goes in the magazines, so I'm glad that I made the cut. You can find it online here or in the July 2011 Liahona on page 45 or the July 2011 Ensign on page 19. Sadly, no picture accompanied my article. But pretend that it did, okay? Here it is if you don't want to go to LDS.org...

By Small Means

By Laurel Teuscher

I thought I was doing fine. I had served a mission, graduated from college, secured a full-time job, and finally moved into an apartment by myself. I attended church every Sunday and sometimes went to activities. I had plenty of friends, single and married, and I suddenly had more time for reading, my favorite thing to do as a child. Yet even with all of these activities, I still felt lost.

In Alma chapter 37, we read of Alma’s advice to his son Helaman. In verses 41–42, Alma talks about Lehi’s family and the Liahona. He explains that the Liahona would not work when “they were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence” and that “they did not progress in their journey; therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course.” Reading these verses helped me realize that I was not progressing. I was not exercising my faith or being diligent in anything in my life. I had stopped working toward a goal. I was simply waiting for something to happen.

There wasn’t one specific moment when I made a list and wrote down everything I needed to change. Rather, those changes came little by little. First, I started to get up early and go for a run or do some other form of exercise. Next, I began to look into school programs that might help me progress in my job or allow me to get a different one. I found a program and then spent time preparing to take the necessary tests to apply. Scripture study and prayer became more important to me, and I tried to spend time every day feasting on the words of Christ and seeking to feel the Spirit. I made a special effort to be more involved in my ward—even if it meant sacrificing some personal time.

Since I started making these small changes, I have felt happier. I feel that I’m progressing and Heavenly Father is giving me new challenges. I can face those challenges with hope rather than fear or discouragement. I’ve learned that when we cease to work or exercise our faith and move in a direction, Heavenly Father cannot help us progress and we will not reach our destination. I am so grateful for the small changes in my life that have helped me to see a way ahead.

Picture time

I realize my last few posts have been rants. What can I say? Life gets you down and when you're not doing much of anything else and I can't really talk about the nitty gritty of my job, the blog can be kind of boring. So having something to rant about makes my life seem more exciting than what it really is. (Although, please note that my bishop got my work number... so I've been having to screen calls at work. Sorry to anyone who is forced to leave a message. I'm hoping that he learns his lesson to just respond to my email WITH an email.)

But a couple of weeks ago, one of my college roommates, L2, came down for a visit. (Remember her from the trip to Puerto Rico? You should!!!) Well, she was here to visit her grandma and her brother went into the MTC, but she found some time in her full schedule for a visit with me. And boy was it a walk down memory lane.

We went to Rock Canyon and started hiking up the trail. (Now I'm thinking we maybe should've tried hiking to the Y since I've never done that.... maybe in August I'll do it.)

I love that Laura always makes me get in front of the camera. 

I seem to have so few pictures of myself that it's nice when someone will take a picture for me.

We went to Cafe Rio. 

We went to the dollar theater and saw The Adjustment Bureau which turned out to be more of a romantic thriller than the thriller I was hoping for. Ah, well. But while we were waiting to be seated at the theater, we found a photo booth and took some pictures. But of course, this photo booth also videoed us while we tried to take pictures. So, here's the video:

And here are the results:

Basically the best day I've had in a LONG time. 

A few other items of business:

I bought and put together a new entertainment center. $72.00! A STEAL! It looks so nice!

My passport expire in April (I can't believe it's been 10 years since I went to Europe the first time). So in preparation of the visit I'm making in 80 some odd days, I had to get it renewed. This is my new one seconds after I retrieved it from the mailbox! YES!!!

Communication

For those of you who work with youth or young adults, you should read this. It's a talk by Sister Julie B. Beck given to Seminaries and Institute instructors back in 2009. Here are some key quotes I took from it:

"We know, from visiting with [young adults] and conducting studies, that they show a lack of faith in their ability to be successful in families. They don't see forming families as a faith-based work. For them, it's a selection process much like shopping. They don't see it as something that the Lord will bless them and help them to accomplish."

"They all have a cell phone, and they all have an e-mail address. They're getting increasingly adept at talking to somebody 50 miles away and less and less able to carry on conversations with people in the same room. That makes it difficult for them to socialize with each other."

As I read this talk last night, I realized that leaders of young adults and the young adults spend so much time focusing on ways to increase attendance rather than getting back to the basics. I guess I've been thinking about it since I've spent a majority of the time over the past few weeks preparing pictures for a ward directory and a calling board, and setting up a text service of reminders.

We are so focused on getting everyone to HUGE activities that we don't focus on building relationships in a singles ward. I would love for a YSA ward leadership to step back and focus on home teaching and visiting teaching. Teaching us how to make those visits meaningful and not make the person feel like this visit is done out of obligation. If I'm honest, there were times when as a RS president I simply went out to visit because I knew no one else was doing it. Sometimes it was a drag. But I knew that it wasn't always about me. The best times I have with people from the church is when we get together and talk. I loved when my home teachers would come over and chat with me. We built a friendship. Yes, they showed up on the last Sunday of the month, but they seemed genuinely interested in me. And sitting with two guys in my house made me feel a lot more at ease than trying to navigate a HUGE room at the institute that is full of guys and girls vying for each other's attentions.

And let's be honest about YSA ward directories--they are a menu. We look through the pictures and decide who may be "worth our time" in getting to know based on a picture taken by a not so professional photographer. And we neglect everyone else. Everyone does it. I used it for RS to add to the visiting teaching assignments. You know what the response was? Why hadn't anyone else thought to do this? Because we're so focused on shopping, rather than the work of building relationships.

Basically, my thoughts are yes--having a ward Facebook page is good. Yes, having a text service for reminders is good. Yes, having activities is good. But if we are not building relationships (friendships or dating), we are still going to not have the attendance we'd like. I personally don't like going to these activities. First of all, I've been sick for the last few of them, but secondly, my friends are starting to date guys in the ward so they go as couples and I feel like an extra wheel. I'm a shy person already so attending these functions where I'm self-conscious of being alone and then to have to deal with an extremely large group of people, does not make me feel comfortable. At all. It would be nice to meet people on a more individual level. That's why I've always be a proponent of FHE groups, or Relief Society groups. They allow you to meet other people without overwhelming anyone. The places I met and became friends with people in the ward were by attending choir (there was very few people there at the time I started going) or at the book group set up by the Relief Society. 

But maybe I don't "get" the singles ward anymore. Maybe I'm just too old for it. I mean I was the one who wanted an e-mail that listed all of the activities. And apparently that just isn't "cool". Who checks their e-mail every day? 

When the PMs are away...

I love my new team.

Besides the fact that I get the opportunity to work on amazing projects that I'm not supposed to talk about, I get to work with 2 other single, 20-something year olds--Heidi and Curtis. They're great.

So, when it was announced that last Thursday all of our PMs (Project managers) were going to be out of the office at a conference, I thought it only appropriate that we have a little gathering. I haven't moved to that office that I've been dreaming about for 3 months now, and so I continue to not see Heidi or Curtis very often. Makes me sad. But Heidi thought it was a great idea to bring treats and just visit. She brought some carrots, strawberries, and grapes. Me?

I brought Snickerdoodle muffins. They looked like this:

Are you salivating yet? Here's the recipe:

From the Sisters Cafe
3 cups of all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
10 Tbsp unsalted butter (1 1/4 stick), softened
1 cup sugar
1 cup vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup buttermilk

1 Preheat oven to 375°F.

2 Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt and set aside.

3 In a large mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar together, beating until fluffy (about 2 minutes with an electric mixer). Add eggs one at a time, beating until incorporated after each one. Add the vanilla yogurt and buttermilk .

4 Now add the dry ingredients. Mix until all is moist. Do not over beat.

5 Spray each muffin tin with cooking spray or brush with butter. Distribute the muffin dough equally among the cups. Bake until muffins are golden brown, about 10-13 minutes(20 for regular size muffins). Test with a long toothpick to make sure the center of the muffins are done. Set muffin pan on wire rack to cool. After 5 minutes, remove muffins from pan.

6 While the muffins are cooling, melt 1/4-1/2 cup of butter and prepare a bowl of cinnamon sugar. While the muffins are still a bit warm, dip the top of the muffins in the melted butter and then in the bowl of cinnamon sugar.

Still deciding

if it's killing me or making me stronger. 

I'm really debating leaving town every weekend from now until.... October? Is that bad?

Dear Laurel

Dear Future Me,

I know you read this blog a lot. It's not narcissistic. You just like to remind yourself how far you've come. You think that by reading this blog, your journals, anything from "back in the day" that will allow you to relive, to amend the mistakes, to fix whatever is currently broken. You sometimes live in a world of 'what ifs' without ever realizing that by living there you forget to live now. Today. And you're wasting more of your precious moments. 

So here's what I want you to do this week. It could be any week in your time. But specifically the week that you re-read this post. 

Just breathe.

Don't worry about what's due and when. Don't worry about the phone call from the bishopric telling you to complete your tasks. Don't worry about the afghans that need to be crocheted, the cross-stitch for Mers that you've been working on for 2.5 years, the emails you need to send, the books you need to read and return to the library, the piano that needs to be practice, the guitar that needs to be played. Just STOP. 

Stop and breathe.

And let me remind you of some things:

1. 2010 was the best year (thus far) since your mission. You worked hard, you loved much, and you experienced joy. Don't desire to go back to that. It's easier now because you're looking back. Look forward. Move forward. Eye on the prize... and you have a lot of those coming up.

2. Start looking at your eyes in the mirror instead of the butt that keeps jiggling or the belly that won't disappear. Your eyes have always held any truth about you. And they just need to continue to sparkle. It doesn't matter what the scale says or that you've gained 12 pounds since your birthday. Look at your eyes.

3. Sing in the morning. And maybe dance a bit. You always feel better with some snappy music playing while you do your make up and your hair.

4. Read your scriptures every day. Remember that journal entry you wrote a few years ago? You said that you knew the week had gone better because you had made an extra effort to read your scriptures. Don't feel bad having to leave a gathering early or saying no to a movie night. You shouldn't feel bad because YOU need that time to read, study, and ponder. You need that time to build that relationship. As a Relief Society president you grew close to Heavenly Father through serving and loving. But now you need to build your relationship with Him in another way. Don't feel guilty about that. It sometimes takes you longer than other people to trust and get to know someone. Give yourself that time. Don't rush anything.

5. Get your nose out of those books! Yes, there is a time to read. But there is also time to play. Play as much as you can (within reason). You may not move so fast in the future. Might as well get moving now!

6. Make some goals. Don't make them huge. Make them small. And keep them. 

Remember that a large ship benefits very much by a small helm (D&C 123:16-17) Learn to be the small helm that is always reliable and learn to be cheerful about that (remember that cheerful doesn't mean to always be THRILLED or EXCITED but rather to continue to press on without complaining). And then, at times, stop. Lean on your sword and rest for a time, but always, ALWAYS get up and finish the fight. Don't slacken your efforts because of the hard times (2 Nephi 4:29).

There are the words of advice I have for you. Though I'm sure that you have better ones in the future.

But take this week to just BREATHE.

love always,
Me

Oh, boy....

In my meeting this morning, Co-worker Dave (who has been very helpful during my transition to this department) was talking about the bookcase he bolted to his wall. He said that he used a stud finder.

My boss, John, quickly added, "Laurel needs to borrow it. She needs all the help she can get."

He apparently didn't get the memo on my self-imposed stay-cation from pursuing men. 

But don't worry, he's on the look out for a new stud finder for me, since I was born without one, apparently.