Like it's Her Birthday

This might have to be a 2-parter... because I'm tired. And I need to go to bed so I can wake up tomorrow and exercise (either go for a run or do Jillian Michaels. It's all dependent on the snow). 

But, as you all know, it was my birthday yesterday. 

For the past few years, I've dreaded my birthday. It seems to simply have a lot of emotional things that are attached to it--the day I came home from my mission, the day I got called as RS pres--everything kind of changes around my birthday. So, I've really struggled with trying to have fun.

So, when my friends Lucy Q and Linds told me that they wanted me to have a good party, I recited my history and they vowed to help this one rock. 

And they were right. I will never doubt their magical powers again.

But rewind...

The party actually started on Friday when I got to work and this is how my cubicle appeared:

My friend, Becky, was kind enough to have arrived early and decorated. It was so low that I had to bend over to get into my cubicle. My newer co-workers then walked into my cubicle and said, "Is it your birthday?"
I almost wanted say, "No... it's just a new decoration for my office. It was a little bland. Here's your sign."
But I refrained.

For lunch, my coworkers from the magazines took me for some Thai food. INCREDIBLE. They also gave me some gifts:

Basically, I'm incredibly blessed to be surrounded by such generous and humorous people. Truly. And so grateful for a stash of candy at my desk now.

So, that was Friday. And I would move along to my actual birth DAY... but I'm exhausted and need to retire and get some beauty sleep--because it takes a lot of sleep to get this beautiful... but to preview. Just one picture. Of Lindsey and Julie. 

I can't express how much I love these two. Julie and I play Words with Friends on our iPods (well, her iPhone and my iPod touch... the game is Scrabble) and we're obsessed with the Peanuts comic strip. And Lindsey? Well, she's amazing. I don't know if there's anything that she can't do. I love her no-nonsense attitude and her outlook on life. In the past month as the three of us have been together, shared laughter, gone to the temple, and simply talked, I know I've found "kindred spirits" (yes... I have been watching Anne of Green Gables. I know you're jealous).

Maybe tomorrow I'll post the rest. We'll see. I have FHE... we're adventuring down to Provo. And if we time things right, I'm going to get a J-dawg. My first J-dawg ever. I'll need to bring my camera for that!

Darwin Award

I've determined today that I cannot have any children for the sake of all humankind.
You think I'm joking.

I'm not.

Not only did I sprain my ankle this week. I just got a bloody nose while sledding.

Basically, it will be better for all earthlings that I don't have any offspring.

*sigh* 

Or maybe I could just marry a very smart man. That might offset everything. 

Update: Ankle and Good News Minute

I'm pleased to report that the ankle is doing better. 
Obviously I learned how to deal with it the second time around.
There's no pain. The swelling has gone down immensely, and it's only slight bruised.
I should be good for our next basketball game in a week and a half. Until then, I'm trying to take things easy....
Except that I need to get back to my Jillian Michaels DVD. Maybe I'll start that again on Monday and just wear my brace.

In other news... the way more exciting kind...
I talked to my boss yesterday and we're meeting on Wednesday to fill out the paperwork so that the Church will subsidize my masters program. Oh, they won't pay for all of it, but I'll take anything.
Especially when it means I can buy more things when I go to London later this year. YAY!!

Day 30... the End

I know. 

You've waited for this day for more than 30 days...

Who are you?

Well, I think I've learned that I'm the most imperfect person in the world. I show emotion too little, expect perfection of myself (Remember, Loro, Rome wasn't built a day!), and I don't appreciate or tell people how amazing I think they are enough. I read too many books and don't take enough risks. 

But what I have learned is that I am happier than I was 1 year ago. I have had way more experiences in the past year than I have since I returned home from my mission almost 5 years ago (that's scary to think about!). And no matter my many failings and the stuff that I just can't get right (which are many), I love where I'm at. My concern with stating that is that I'm afraid that because I admit that, everything's going to change now. Ah well... Too late.

So... I guess the question is now--is there something I missed? Something you want to know about me? Something that you want me to talk about on this blog? I'm open to ideas. 

Sprained Ankle Part 2

It's funny how a little over 2 years ago, almost to the day, I sprained my ankle again.

Playing basketball.

I don't know how it happened, but I do know that my ankle rolled and I felt a pop and I went down and had to be carried off the court. And now I'm icing it. 

And when I told my coach, Remi, that I was quitting and going to help coach because we might win more games, his response was, "You'll lose by more."

At least we have a bye for the next week. I'm hoping to be recovered enough to go shoot hoops on Saturday. I need to be more accurate.

Day 29

In the last month, what have you learned?

I've learned that...

*I need a filter. Desperately. Because I just say mean things if I don't pause.
*I expect too much of others and not enough of myself. I don't push myself to my maximum. And yet, I think that other people should live up to their potential. I am a horrible cheerleader.
*I want to be the best at everything. I love praise. It drives me. So when I make a mistake, I struggle to maintain some sort of self-esteem.
*I plan my life too often. I don't let things happen naturally. I want to know the ending before the beginning.
*I need to laugh more often.
*My home is really Utah, right now. I'm finally comfortable here. 
*I really suck at sports in general.

Day 28

A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed?

I don't have any pictures of me from this year... yet, anyway. I think that should be my goal for this week. So we'll take the ones that are closest to this year... and one from the end of 2009.

Then:

Now:

Nope... don't need an excuse to post a picture of my little B. :) 

I don't know if I've changed much. I still have the same hairstyle (love going to Bryce for my hair... that man is a genius. And I need to go see him again). 

I'd like to say I'm more confident, but I still falter. I still feel insecure about a lot of things and unfortunately, I let that show way too often. I'm way too serious, too much of a planner, too rigid. 

But I definitely feel like I'm much happier than I was a year ago. I have some of the best people in my life. And sure, I'm not terribly closer to reaching all of my dreams, goals, and hopes... but I like where I'm at. I'm stretching, growing, learning, and most important of all--living. (If you don't think so, I totally recommend noticing, as I did today, that in 2010 I blogged 109 times. The previous 2 years only had 59 posts. Oh yeah... I think I'm definitely living).

Day 27

Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

Because my blog postings have been either depressing, annoying, or simply laughable as I document the little vignettes from my life. But I wanted people who read it to get some insight into me. I have been told lately that I don't share enough. I think I do... I just do it in a very quiet way.

Day 26

I will finish!!!

What do you think about your friends?

I have amazing friends. They are like family to me, especially when my family is not nearby. I love them so much and admire all of them so much. I learn so much from each of them, and each group of my friends brings out a different side of me. They drive me to do better because I want to be like them.

This year, I'm going to try and work on allowing people to move through my social circle a little more freely. Meaning that I have compartmentalized my friends and I need to allow them to meet and enjoy one another's company. I guess my birthday will start that... I still need to finish planning.

But I hope all of my friends know how much I appreciate and love them. I don't always say it. And for those who have moved away, I don't always stay in touch, but I do think of you often. And if you're ever in town--give me a call. We'll figure something out.

Day 25

Still behind. Maybe I'll get back on track.

What would I find in your bag?

Well, I usually have 2 bags. The first is my bag for when I'm going out...

 The second is my bag for work. Books are in there because I usually take Trax and get some reading done.

Still behind...

Sorry for still being behind with the 30 day challenge. It should've been almost over by now, but I have been having problems balancing things, apparently. 

Last night was our ward's first game of women's basketball. It was tiring playing full-court 4-on-4. I haven't done that in a long time. And our referee kept bugging us about being "more aggressive." Right. I took a couple of hits--one had me turning on my ankle with a foul from the other team. 

But the worse one was when I went to block a shot, and fell on my left side and my elbow. I don't really know how that happened. I laid on the gym floor, my eyes opening and closing and not really focusing on anything, and my left ankle (luckily I had been wearing my brace. I'm pretty sure that's what saved me). My arm hurt profusely, but after awhile, it seemed like the only thing I could do was to get up and finish the game. 

Then I came home and iced the elbow. The bruise is starting to form now... 9 hours later. And my body is pretty sore. But the worse part?

I realized that these girls, once they figure out that I'm bigger than them and can be pretty accurate in close range of the basket, I can't really shake them. They just stick to me like glue and there is no getting away from them. I'm just too slow to get any distance. *sigh* Maybe I need to spend Saturday morning at the institute playing basketball or something. But I need someone to defend me. Anyone know of anyone?

Getting on my good side...

There's nothing that puts someone on my good side faster than them standing up for me when no one else will, especially when a) I'm in the right (and not flaunting that fact, I've got to stop doing that!) and b) when I've been disrespected.
And right now, a member of my bishopric who often spends meetings tormenting me, making fun of me, etc... has just gotten on my good side. He stood up for me and my friends when I needed someone too. And that definitely makes up for the past year of torture. 
But it doesn't negate any future moments of torment.... well, maybe just a little.

Day 24

Yep. I'm behind, I know. I'll catch up. Only 6 more days... maybe I'll finish this week?

Write a letter to your parents.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I don't think I say "thank you" often enough or "I love you" as much as I should. I think you're both amazing. Raising 8 relatively normal kids who are all good kids? Yeah. That's an impressive feat. I don't know how you did it, especially with how different we all are. But I am grateful. I'm grateful that you push me to do the hard things, even if I whine and complain. But I also love that you have always pushed me to be independent (though I'm sure you had your own selfish motives for that....). It's always been nice to know that I could go to you for advice, but that instead of telling me what to do, you allow me to either 1) make the mistakes or 2) simply guide me to find the answer myself. I think that has helped empower me to be the relatively self-confident young woman that I am today (and yes... I'm still a young woman. Maybe in 19 more days that will change... but probably not). Thanks for all the love and support even when I was stumbling and didn't know what I wanted to do. 

love,
Laurel

Day 23

Yep. I was bad yesterday and forgot to post. Sue me.

Something you crave a lot.

I guess it would be either this:

(homemade ice cream... YUM!!!)

Or love. 

Yep. Ice cream or love. It's not that I don't get enough of either. Trust me, my stomach shows that I have had way too much ice cream over the years. And love? I have plenty of it for other people, but I crave it for myself. I've always struggled with the ability to accept me for me--for my shortcomings, weaknesses, irritants, etc. 

I'm working on it, little by little It's certainly a process. And I think I've made some serious progress in the past year, two years, four years. Hopefully the trend continues.

Meanwhile, I'm wishing it was summer and that I could have some ice cream.

Day 22

What makes you different from everyone else.

Heck if I know! 
I think I read more than my friends. I always have book with me to read while I wait for events to start. Unless you're a super cool friend... but even then, I may have it in the car while I wait for you. And it's not just reading fiction books, I am currently reading Malcolm Gladwell's books and I'm loving his writing.

I'll give anything a shot (including a horror movie that my home teacher wanted to watch... I was disgusted and I laughed at the ridiculousness of it... and I refuse to ever watch it again). And I guess that goes for people too... I give anyone an opportunity to be my friend.

And finally, I think I sort of mentioned this off-handed, but I've learned in the past few months that I have a gift of love. I love people and I think that's why it takes me awhile to let new people into my life. I am guarded because I don't want to be hurt. But when you're in my life, I respect you, love you, and will do almost anything for you (awww... who am I kidding? I'll bend over backwards if you ask me to).

I don't know if that's what makes me different, but that's the way I see it. 

Day 21

A picture of something that makes you happy.

This one makes me happy because it reminds me that it is possible to fulfill all of my adventures and wishes... it's just all about perspective.

This one reminds me of home. Really. I'm not home until the next morning, when I hit up VG's for a maple bar. 

New Years' Eve

So, this year, I had to work on New Years' Eve. That was kind of a bummer. However, after work was when the real fun started. I met some friends over at the Conference Center theater for a Broadway sing-a-long:

Amazing! 
What could be better than singing Broadway songs at the top of your lungs?
Afterwards, I went home, changed and then headed to Applebee's for some dinner before heading to C.Will's house for the New Years' Eve party. And guess what I got to do? Play Rock Band! I've never played it before...

They put me on guitar first...
Then when they realized that I wasn't very good, they moved me to bass. Then I relegated to drums (which I find most disturbing considering my sense of rhythm has always been poor. Anyone have an idea on how to improve my rhythm?). And surprisingly, that's when we had success. We totally two-shoed it... that's right, my Indian name has become a catch phrase. Awesome.
I think I want Rock Band for my Wii for my birthday... just in case anyone is looking for ideas....

Day 20

Someone you see yourself marrying in the future

Well, if I knew the answer to that, I don't think I would be single anymore.

But seriously, in the last year I've had a lot of experiences that have helped me to realize a couple of things:
1) My original list has been completely thrown out
2) I'm having a lot of fun figuring out what is right for me

I've come to a couple conclusions though:
1) I want someone who encourages me to be better than I am. He can't take my mediocrity and he'll call me out when I don't try hard enough. Basically, I need someone to push me sometimes.
2) I need someone who makes me laugh. I take myself too seriously and while I'm trying this year to lighten my mood and be a little more happy-go-lucky, I would like to have someone that can help me be that way.
3) We are going to get married in the temple. That should be number one. But really, that's kind of my only deal breaker. Well, besides some other common sense red flags.
4) I want someone who thirsts after knowledge. I want to be able to talk with him about all sorts of topics and have him teach me about what he knows and vice versa. I have loved lately when I get to talk about the books I've been reading and discuss topics (other than dating because I'm starting to get sick of those conversations... and then again, I hope that when I'm married we won't talk about dating, except to reminisce).

So, that's kind of my "list" now. I have met some guys that I think have the potential, but apparently I don't fit their lists. Ah well. One day, right? Plus, my philosophy with dating is... I'll give anyone a shot. What can I say, my birthday is coming up. Can't be too picky for just a date (just kidding... although I'm sort of not, but this is not a put down on me.... just trying to say that I'm open to giving anyone a chance...).

Day 19

Nicknames you have; why do you have them?

I've always wanted the nickname "Lor" since watching Gilmore Girls. Sadly, no one will comply. In fact, I would like a nickname based on my first name. I don't think it will happen. Currently, my nicknames are:

*Toosh
Really, does it need an explanation? It's the shortened version of my last name. Most people like it. It's short. But it's the same one I've heard since I was little. 

*Teuscher
Again. Always seems to be the way people roll. My last name. I don't know why they decide to always call me by my last name. It seems so long to me.

*Hermana
From the mission. I love when I see the elders again and they have no idea what to call me anymore. So they just go with "hermana". Yeah. Can't go wrong there.

*Two Shoes
My Indian name. And the other night it was made into a verb and then a catch phrase. My friends are so entertaining.

*Loro
Spanish for parrot. My sister gave me the nickname a long time ago because I was a chatterbox as a child. I recently told one of my friends and he's started using that too. Though I'm apparently not the chatterbox I was 18 years ago.

Day 18

Plans/dreams/goals you have

Plans:
*go to England and visit my bro, sis-in-law, lil' H. Go back to my mission
*finish grad school

Dreams:
*be married and have a family
*write a novel and get it published

Goals:
*to be happy when my birthday comes around
*to be more optimistic about situations.
*to laugh more often
*to play the most amazing prank EVER.
*to learn to play my guitar really well.